The Case of Two Terrible Faces
by scullyseviltwin
Summary: You could do worse, face-wise.  Crossover with Party Down, in a way.


"So, yeah, I mean, we met at a bar, but that's not bad, right?" Leslie can hear Ann biting her nails over the phone.

She considers her friend's question. "No, that's not bad. What was he _drinking_ though?"

"Vodka tonic," Ann says happily.

"Right, well, that's a good sign because-"

"It's my favorite drink, yeah. It's like it's fate."

"Don't go calling it fate, that's so," Leslie bites at her lip, "_Romeo and Juliet_."

"Right, sorry, well, he's an actor, or he used to be anyway," Ann takes off, nearly rambling. Leslie's excited that her best friend is so excited, but she knows how Ann sometimes gets with men. "...can't believe anyone would move to Pawnee from California but, there you go!"

"Hmm," she considers. "I always wonder about that. When people end up in someplace so... random having come from a place like Los Angeles, or Chicago or... anyway! Henry, yes, five dates and-"

"I'm kinda head over heels, here Les," there's a fringe of uncertainty to her voice now. "And, well, you know how I get."

Leslie smiles to herself, oh does she know... "Well, don't get ahead of yourself. I haven't even met him yet, so-"

"I know!"

"And if I don't like him then, well..."

Ann laughs, "I know! But Les, you'll love him, I mean... there's something about him I just can't put my finger on."

"Oh yeah?"

"Hm, yeah, it's... well, maybe you can figure it out."

"I'll try! So, when do I get to meet this Henry Pollard?"

-

Turns out she meets Henry Pollard quite by accident two weeks later as she's getting in line at Starbucks. As per usual, Leslie is deciding between a caramel macchiato and a white chocolate mocha when she glances at the person in front of her. She knows that butt, she knows that _hair_...

But Ben had said he had to work early which was why they hadn't had their standard make-out-in-the-shower session like they normally did.

"Ben?" she asks, resisting the urge to reach out and pinch his butt (last time she had he spin around so quickly he twisted his ankle.) The man doesn't turn around, but glances down at his watch, begins tapping his right foot, impatient.

Leslie tries again, "Ben?"

Then man in front of her stiffen for a moment, glances over his shoulder. "Sorry, not Ben," he says in a very Ben-like voice and goes back to tapping his foot.

Leslie meets Henry Pollard but she doesn't know it... yet.

-

"So I was thinking maybe D'Agostino's for food and, I don't know, somewhere after for drinks?" Ann suggests.

Leslie considers for a moment, "That's sounds good, but you're assuming we'll be _having_ drinks after. What if I hate him?" She asks this pleasantly enough because Leslie knows there's only like a three percent chance that she'll actually dislike the guy.

Ann's eye roll is nearly palpable; Leslie wonders if all friend share this kind of bond, intrinsically knowing exactly what facial expression the other is wearing when they speak. She thinks not; she and Ann are pretty special. "You're not going to hate him, and even if you start disliking him... I'll just get you drunk!"

"Solid plan, Perkins."

"Ben's playing designated driver, right?"

"Well, yes... but he doesn't _know_ that yet."

-

"I haven't been on a double date in, wow... since college." Ben says, taking a right down Sycamore. "Sophomore year."

Ben blinks, glances over at her. "And now I feel old, I actually had to count to remember how many years ago that was."

Her eyes are soft as she looks at him, "It's been that long? But double dates are great! You can order pitchers of things and not feel like you're overdoing it!"

"That's a really good point..."

"Who was the last one with? The last double date?"

Ben really has to think about this but comes up short, "I don't remember the other couple's name but my _lady_ was Melissa... no... Marissa. Anyway, we all went to Dairy Queen and ended up with food poisoning."

She laughs at his usage of 'lady', "Is that why you hate Blizzards!"

"No, I hate Blizzards because they're disgusting, Leslie." Ben says it like it's a no brainer, like she's the idiot.

Leslie sighs, mock defeat. "...there are some parts of you I will never understand."

"I'm sorry."

"Hating Blizzards is unAmerican, Benjamin," Leslie says with emphasis.

Ben takes a right into the parking lot of D'Agostino's. "You're unAmerican."

"Good one," she concedes and gathers up her purse.

-

Ann and Henry are already at the table when they arrive; it doesn't shock either of them, upon spotting the couple as Ann is in profile and Henry, seated with his back to them.

Ann's eyes light up when she sees them and Henry stands, chivalrous, turns around and-

Time sort of just... stops.

"Oh," Leslie says, before she can even think about why she's saying 'oh' in the first place. That's fine though, because Ben mutters an 'oh' of his own.

Henry's eyes are father apart and he's got at least an inch on Ben. Ben is wearing chinos and Henry jeans with a polo shirt. Henry's hair is a bit lighter and a bit longer and Ben certainly has a few pounds on the other man but... yeah. They look a hell of a lot alike.

Startlingly so.

Sickeningly so, if Ann hasn't noticed this because really, Henry is very, very similar to Ben. And Ben is sticking it to Leslie (so to speak, she thinks after devising such a crude manner of explaining things to herself) and if Ann wants Henry to "stick it to her" or has "stuck it to her," that's pretty weird.

Ann speaks up, obviously confused at the stalemate in introductions. "Henry, this is Leslie and Ben and guys this is..."

"Ben..." Leslie mumbles under her breath, a little dumbstruck, a lot weirded out.

"...Henry," Ann finishes and gives her best friend a look as though to ask, "What the hell is up!"

Leslie shoots back a facial expression that clearly reads, "Really!"

-

They all shake hands and Ben pulls out a chair for Leslie, who nearly misses it when she sits down. "So," Leslie begins, grabbing the bottle of wine that's on the table before anyone offers it to her. "Ann tells me that you two met over... gin and tonics."

So this is what uncomfortable conversation feels like, Leslie thinks. And Ann, bless her beautiful face, is completely oblivious to what is making the situation so uncomfortable.

Ben and Henry could be brothers. Or cousins that look surprisingly alike. They both look like fairly convincing dopplegangers of Adam Scott which is to say: they look too much alike. Leslie shakes it off, begins picking at her pasta. She doesn't want to think of the levels of psychological denial that must be at work in Ann's brain for her not to have seen this.

"And you're here from California... right?" Leslie asks, taking another sip of her wine. "That's gotta be a pretty big transition."

"It, you know it was but I really feel like it was time for a change," Henry says. "Everyone in Los Angeles was... it's difficult to... I, you know, I'm working in sales now, so it's... it's good," he fumbles through the rest of his sentence.

"And Leslie tells me you tried your hand at acting," Ben says, cutting himself a piece of chicken. "That must have been, you know... crazy."

He kicks Leslie under the table; she bites her lip and kicks back.  
>"He had this line in this commercial-" Ann begins, excited.<p>

"Oh no, hon, not-"

"You're the one who showed it to me!" Ann laughs, reaches over, takes Henry's hand as he hide his face, cheeks flushing. "Anyway, this line he has, he's kind of like... a cult classic." Ann drops her voice and her chin, does her best impression. "'Are we having fun yet!'"

Leslie and Ben both smile as Ann continues, "The YouTube video has something like five-hundred thousand hits!"

Leslie watches Henry as she chews a bite of her pasta. It's about a minute before it dawns on her. "Oh my god, you were in front of me at Starbucks the other day! Oh my god, I almost pinched your butt!"

Henry's eyes go wide, Ann's go wider, but Ben's are widest.

"You... huh?" Ben responds.

"I didn't _do_ it Ben, but you two look... remarkably similar from the back." Leslie finishes pathetically, not wanting to spell it out right in front of Ann, not wanting to shock Ann with the fact that _their boyfriends could possibly be interchangeable face wise_.

Come to think of it, Leslie takes another pass over his face and decides he's pretty awful facewise too. Which is to say that Henry isn't bad looking. Which is to say Leslie is very, _very_ confused.

"Anyway let's get dessert, who wants dessert, I think I want the-"

Ann's confused, speaks slowly, "But we haven't even finished dinner yet-"

"Better to get that dessert order in early so you're sure you have it and oh god they have red velvet cake so I should get that and Ben they have lemon meringue and you love that and can never find it and you should-"

"They have lemon meringue?" Henry perks up, "I love lemon meringue!"

Leslie's face ghosts. Ben's face ghosts.

Henry hangs his head a little.

"What?" Ann asks.

Leslie stands suddenly. "I have to pee!"

-

They make it through dessert fine but that's mostly because it's dessert which is basically sacred to Leslie and she really _does_ love a good red velvet cake. It seems as though for the sanity of the group Henry orders a lava cake and none of them really speak as they eat their food.

When the check comes, Henry picks up the bill which is so nice that Leslie is almost certain she's going to have to see him again because he's actually a really nice guy and he's pretty perfect for Ann and besides the overwhelming "Benness" of his visage, he's great.

"Drinks?" Ann asks almost too optimistically and almost on cue, Ben yawns.

"You know, I've got another early morning ahead of me; if you want to drop me by my apartment Les, I-"

"You know, I should probably turn in too," she agrees sadly. Leslie wants to stay, but it's all... a little too much to process at the moment. Plus, she wants to give Henry an opportunity to hint Ann towards why they're all so keyed up.

Because she has to be aware of it.

Immediately.

Ann's face falls a bit, but as with anything with Leslie, she understands. "Alright, well, call me tomorrow?"

"Of course!"

"Are you going to talk about me?" Henry says, witheringly.

Ann slings an arm around his waist, "Uhm, duh." Ann untangles herself to move to Leslie and give her a light hug. The two women chat for a moment as then men say goodbye to one another.

"Hey man, really good to meet you," Ben holds out his hand and Henry takes it briefly.

"Yeah, you too," the other man agrees, shoving his other hand into his pocket. "Just one thing..."

Ben's cautious, on edge suddenly and he doesn't know why. "Uhm, okay."

Henry bites his lip but begins, tentatively, "Is it just me or do you and I-"

Ben responds immediately. "Yes. Yes we do, and it's weird."

Henry smiles, "Right!"

"Oh my god, so weird!" The two share a laugh as the women once more make plans to call one another in the morning.

-

Her phone rings sometime around midnight.

Leslie rolls over, picks it up.

"I can't believe I didn't see it!" Ann screeches on the other end.

She's so loud that Ben, at Leslie's side, laughs. "This can't, this isn't... Henry isn't-"

Leslie is laughing almost too hard to cut her off, but she manages. "When did you figure it out?"

"Uggggh," Ann groans, "He made this face, this guy cut us off in traffic and Les, _it was Ben's face_!"

She's laughing even harder now; she didn't think that was possible. "Well, Ben's face is Ben's face, so Henry can't really have Ben's face."

"I cannot. Believe this."

"Listen," Leslie mumbles, sleepy. "Henry is great and smart and funny and I think you guys are really good together and honestly... this is really something you can look beyond. And I think you should look beyond because he's pretty awesome."

Ben nods, takes the phone from Leslie's hand.

"And hey, you could do worse, face-wise."


End file.
